| %n, go click ur heels and say: I NEED A LIFE, I NEED A LIFE...brb |
| %n, it's ok, half the people in the world are below average too. |
| (In reguards to valentines day) today americans celebrate the most worthless holiday of them all....It is a day where having a relationship means you have to waste money on a elaborate dinner some stupid chocolates, and flowers...all to get a peace of ass that's no different then the last time you screwed your girlfriend...I wouldn't mind the getting ass part...but all the other crap is worthless...plus all it does is stop you from having the money to buy more beer on friday night when you run out....all because you wanted to be a romantic butt pirate.......I salute you men who do nothing on valentine's day but beat that shit up right...because that's all it's really about right????8-).......Sorry ladies but you must know what your man is honestly thinking on this Bullshit Hallmark Holiday |
| 10 things good about men:1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10.Tell me when you think of one..while you think I'll nap.... |
??o o o
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/ / /
Hey look.. Im running away from %n!
|
| A millennium is 1000 years. Thats how long I don't want to talk to you. |
| A pretty girl can kiss a guy, a bird can kiss a butterfly, the rising sun can kiss the grass, but you my friend!! Yes You!! YOU CAN KISS MY ASS!! |
| All the idiots of the world have surronded one computer... yours. |
| Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone |
| Can you do me a favor and try not to be imature when you talk to me? Thanks! |
| Cancel my subscriptions ... I'm tired of your issues. |
| Come on %n Did you honestly think I wanted YOU to know where I went? |
| Come on, doggy. It's just you and me now. It's you and ol' Jack . Come on. Come on, good boy. That a good boy, come on! Bit closer, bit closer...WHOA TO CLOSE TO CLOSE!!!! damn I knew you liked me but damn!! |
| Computer broken-watch for finger |
| Damn not you again....... |
| Did you know that Beaverrs are mammals, and therefore have placental glands that produce milk? Go start a Beaver Beverage Company. I'll be here waiting to ignore you some more. |
| Did you ride the big bus or the little bus to school today? |
| Doing something better than talking to %n |
| Don't be dissin wut u be missin, the words I be sayin, the chit I be playin....just rollin and hoin and towin and knowin now wut wut I be Gangsta |
| Don't hate me because I'm beautiful hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. |
| Don't let your mind wander. It's way to small to be outside by itself! |
| Don't piss me off today, I'm running out of places to hide to bodies |
| Don't take it personaly.. but you smell like an ice cube |
| Earth is full. Go home. |
| Eat my ass with a spoon! And if you want, I guess leave me a message, i'm studying for my woman studies class right now. |
| Everyone has the right to be an A$$Hole, but just abuses the privlage! |
| Everyone is a smart in their own way, but I am not sure about %n. |
| Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but %n abuses the privilege. |
| Find something else to do because obviously I have. |
| FOR THE LAST TIME! Your mother left here at 9 this morning... Leave me alone! |
| Forget the ugly stick! you must have been born in the ugly forrest! |
| Go find a straw %n cuz you suck! |
| God made mountains, god made trees, god made you but we all make mistakes. |
| Hello, I am here, but I'm avoiding someone I don't like... IM me, and if I don't respond, it's you! |
| Heres A Little Math For You: ME + Your Mom = You |
| Hey %n !!! What's that ugly thing growing out of your neck... Oh... It's your head... |
| Hey %n , dont worry there are a lot of people below average.. your not the only one! |
| Hey %n I'm not here right now, but if you need to talk to me, call your girl friend. |
| Hey %n! I would talk to you, but my mom said not to talk to people who don't have lives. She said they have a bad influence on me. My most sincere apologies. |
| Hey %n! I'm like you in a beauty pageant... GONE!! Sooo, get a makeover or leave me a message!!! |
| Hey %n!I would talk to you, but my mom said not to talk to people who don't have lives. She said they have a bad influence on me. My most sincere apologies. |
| Hey %n, heres a hint. If i don't answer you the first 25 times, what makes you think the next 25 will work? |
Hey %n, you have just tried to IM me without success. I left becuase...
1.) This Convo. Stinks
2.) You bored me into doing homework.
3.) Something interesting is going on somewhere else.
4.) I hate you.
5.) I would rather watch an aritifical plant grow.
6.) Sorry you just bore the Hell out of ME!!!
|
| Hey do you wanna play a game? It's called follow the leader. Do what I do and put your away message up, so I can come back on while you're gone! |
| Hey I'm gone but if its %n tell your mom that she forgot her thong! Earth is full. Go home. |
| Hey I'm screening my messages making sure no losers IM me. If I don't answer you, you're it. Congratulations if so; it's hard to get on that list. |
| Hey right now I'm away, but really I'm sitting right here thinking how stupid you are for still IM'ing me. |
| HEY!! Don't tell %n but I'm avoiding them with this away message..THANKS!! |
| Hey, do you have a band aid and an extra brain? I scraped my knee when I saw how stupid you are for IMing me! |
| Hey, I am sitting in my chair starring at the wall. It gets boring after a while. But it is much better then talking to you! |
| Hey, Im really here. It's just that, there is someone thats on that I'm avioding. So, if you are IM'ing me, and I'm not answering, IT'S YOU!!! |
| Hey, Remember that time I told you I thought you were cool? I LIED. |
| Hey, there's something weird on my computer, oh it's your face. |
| Hey- I am away from my computer but in the meantime, why don't you go play in traffic?! |
| Hi %n! I am not at the computer right now, so if you would like, you could leave a message so I could throw it away. |
| Hi, I don't care Thank You, buh bye. |
| Hi, you have reached the _____ residance at AIM..I'm not here right now so if you could not leave me a message it would be great! after all..this isn't a message machine! ...stupid! |
| Hmm...I dont know what your probelm is...but I'm going to bet it's really hard to pronounce... |
| How about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up? I'm away live with it. |
| How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I'll get back to you... |
| How many times did your parents drop you when you were a baby? |
| I always thought the barney song was dumb then I met %n and the song was true. |
| I am away from my computer but in the meantime, why don't you go play in traffic? |
| I am away, so why don't you go away? |
| I am having a bad day and talking to you will only make it worse. |
| I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. I wish I were you so I could be with me. |
| I am not anti-social..I just don't like you |
| I am staring at the computer screen waiting for somthing important to happen...wait! Oh no...it's just you. |
| I can only talk to one person a day. Today's not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good either. |
| I didnt ask to be beautiful, god just made me that way. You on the other hand, should have asked, cuz god made you the ugliest thing ever! |
| I got bored of talkin to you %n, so when you find some interesting convo, caybe I'll come back to indulge in the conversation. |
| I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was you. |
| I have always woundered why people bang their heads against brick walls..... then I met you. Don't bother leaving a message. |
| I have betta thangs to do than talk to u like spinning around in my computer chair!! |
| I have high friends in places. SO STOP SENDING ME STUPID MESSAGES! NOW! |
| I have no idea what I am doing right now, but I bet its better than talking to you! |
| I have nothing against you, I am just trying to ignore you. |
| I have some questions for you!!Why do you like TV?Why are you annoying me?Why don't you have anything better to do?Why are you messing w/ me?Why am I asking these useless questions?Why am I gone??I dunnno so stop YELLING AT ME!!!! |
| I highly reccomend this web site, www.plasticsurgery.com to you. After a couple grand worth of work, who knows? You might even look as good as me. |
| I hope fleas of a thousand camels come and infest your armpits while I'm gone. |
| I know that you want to talk to me, because I am such a nice, loving, and caring guy, but I'm not around right now so quit TRYING to IM me. I am sick of this crap. You think that I am available to assist you with all of your problems, but let me tell you the truth...there is no help, no help for any of you... |
| I like long walks especially when they're taken by people like you. |
| I love to chat, just not with you. |
| I may be fat,but you're ugly,and I can diet!!! |
| I need you...........I want you............To get offline! |
| I obviously don't want to talk to you right now, so leave a message and I'll be sure to ignore it. |
| I really am here but why would I want to talk to you. |
| I really don't like you but if you really must leave a message, I'll be nice and at least pretend to care. |
| I WANT YOU...... TO GO AWAY!!!!!! |
| I'll be right back. I'm saving the world... from people like YOU. |
| I'm away from my computer right now because I'm pondering how %n can be so stupid. |
| I'm away from the computer. Actually I want to talk to you right now. Actually your a really cool person. Actually this whole message was a lie. |
| I'm bored, your boring - bored.com |
| I'm bored, your boring, so don't leave a message. |
| I'm busy now I'll ignore you later. |
| I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day. *kisses* |
| I'm going for the record to see how many people that I can ignore, your just one of the hundreds! |
| I'm having fun right now so don't ruin it. Leave me a message. |
| I'm not here right now because I'm waiting for you to get offline. |
| I'm not here right now so cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and GET OVER IT!!! |
| I'm not here right now so go bother someone else. |
| I'm not ignoring you %n, you're just insignificant |
| I'm not ignoring you; I'm selectively bypassing you. |
| I'm not mean ... you're just a sissy. |
| I'm not talking to you so don't send me an IM. And if you do... I will tell you what the voices in my head think of you..No wait I won't...because I'm a Christian woman!!! |
| I'm obviously doing something more important than talking to you. |
| I'm obviously doing something more important than you. |
| I'm obviously not here right now because I'm waiting for YOU to leave...have a nice day. |
| I'm only allowed to talk to people. |
| I'm out like you in a beauty contest. |
| I'm outside making a snowman, ok it's not snowing.. ever consider I just didnt wanna talk to you! Take a hint! |
| I'm really here...but why would I want to talk to you? |
| I'm sorry %n. Talking to you seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns. |
| I'm sorry, I'm ignoring you. |
| If a thousand people love you, I am in that thousand. If a hundred people love you, I am in that hundred. If ten people love you I am in that ten. If only one person loves you, you guessed it, that person is me! Ahh... sorry.. as of right now, I am not here. You know what that means! |
| If I could be one person for a day, it sure as hell wouldn't be you. |
| If I promise to miss you, will you go away? |
| If I throw a stick, will you go away? |
| If I wanted to talk to you %n, I would be here wouldnt I? |
| If I wanted to talk to you, I would have IMed you first. |
| If I'm not available it probably means I dont want to speak to you. |
| If my ass was as big as urs I wouldnt have to have aol you could write everything on my ass!!!!:-D |
| If you arn't important enough that I'm not talkin to you right now, then what are you going looking at my away message? |
| If you didn't have feet you wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do you wear a bra??! |
If you ran 1,000,000 miles to see the boy/girl of your dreams, what would you say when you got there?
Wow, you looked a lot hotter from a distance! |
| If you think I am here and that I just don't want to talk to you, then your right. |
| If your head wasn't attached to your body you'd probably missplace it. |
| Im not here right now...actually I am but I wish I wasn't because I have a camera that can see whoever is IM'ing me and if you just IM'd me then obviously your ugly.... |
| It's my party and I will cry if I want to... you can cry to cause you weren't Invited! |
| It's ok %n, half the world is below average too. Your not the only one! |
| Less is more: The less you talk, the more I like you. |
| Let's see, I've walked the dog, cleaned my room, gone shopping and gossiped with my friends...Nope, this list doesn't say that I'm required to talk to you. |
| Like, hi! Like, hey! Like, you are really gay! |
| Listen %n, if I wanted to talk to you, I would be here wouldn't I? |
| maybe I'll become a meteorologist so that when I get tough with someone I can say "I'm predicting a 4 inch accumulation of my FIST on your FACE with a 100 percent chance of BLEEDING!" |
| mirrors don't talk but lucky for you %n they don't laugh |
| MoM Said Not to talk to ugly people so bye bye :) |
| My Mom said never talk to strangers and well, since you're really strange.... I guess that means I can't talk to you! |
| My mom said not to talk to strangers..so in that case, I dont know you. |
| Never fight with an ugly person. They have nothing to loose. |
| Oh dear! Looks like %n fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down! |
| Oh I'm sorry, how many times did your parents drop you when you were a baby? |
| Oh that's funny, I just got off the phone with this loser who said they had the same screen name as you. |
| OMG!!! Something really bad has happened! %n IMed me help me!!!! |
| People like you are the reason I'm not here. So Bye |
| People like you are the reason I'm on medication. |
| Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I don't wanna be mean, but you need listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole friggin bottle. |
| Remember JESUS LOVES YOU... everyone else thinks your an idiot. |
| Remember the time I told you that you were cool? I lied. |
| Right now I'm sitting here looking at the screen trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass. |
| Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you? |
| Roses are red Violets are blue, im too cute to talk to you so leave me a message xoxo |
| Roses are red, vilolets a blue, god made me hot, what the hell happened to you!? |
| Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, how stupid are you? |
| Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than talk to you. |
| Roses are red, Violets are blue. Thank goodness I'm not here, So I Can't IM you! |
| Roses are red. Violets are blue, nothing can smell as bad as you! |
| Roses are red. Violets are blue. If I wanted you to IM me then I would've asked you to. |
| Roses r red violets r blu god made me pretty wut happened to u? |
| Shhhhhhhhhh! Don't tell %n but %t is having a party and they arent invited |
| Skank of the weel: %n |
| Sorry %n I am too busy trying to find an excuse so I don't have to talk to you. Leave a message and I probably won't get back to you. |
| Sorry I am not here right now because no one is on... sorry %n your counted as no one. |
| Sorry I am not here right now because no one is on...sorry %n...you must be no one. |
| Sorry I can't think of an insult stupid enough for you. |
| Sorry, I am not currently accepting messages from a person like right now. |
| Sorry, I'm having vision problems. I can't see myself talking to you. |
| Stop askin me to make out with u %n... I WONT! |
| SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: %n may cause a bad headache. |
| The Village called and said they were looking for %n. They're missing their idiot. |
| The Village just called. They said they were missing their town idiot, I couldn't really understand them, but I think they were saying the name was %n... |
| The world isn't big enough for the two of us. So please go jump off a bridge. |
| There are some stupid people in this world. You just helped me realize it. |
| They are gonna have to rename the birds and the bees to, Me and your Mom. :-D |
| Today is opposite day: I'm at my computer right now because I really want to talk to you! |
| Unlike %n, I have a life! |
| Until you IM'ed me I couldn't remember the last time I wanted somebody's fingers to break so badly. |
| Wait... I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. |
| Waiting for someone special to get on and it ain't you %n, so go away buh bye |
| What makes you think you're something special when you smile? |
| When I saw you came on, I knew I had to leave - I'll be back when your gone! |
| When I was little I was nice. When I was little I was polite. When I was little I never left anyone waiting? When I was little I thought you looked hot?What hapapened!? Everything Changed!? |
| When life gives me lemons, I make lemonade. When life gives me instant messages from you, I put my away message on. |
| When you were born you were so ugly that instead of slapping you, the doctor slapped your mom! leave a message |
| Why am I away? Im not really away, im just prentending to be away because I don't want you to annoy me! |
| Why are you bothering me? I have my away message on cause I don't want to listen to you and your stupid nonsense. |
| Why are you IMing me if my away message is on? You know I'm obviously not here at the moment. I mean really, we all have the right to be stupid but you're abusing the privilage. |
| Yo mama is so dumb when she was pulled over for drunk driving and they asked her to walked the line she said, 'Which one?' |
| You dont know me, you just wish you did. |
| You have the right to remain silent, because whatever you say will probally be stupid. |
| You have your whole life to be a jerk....so why dont you take a day off so.. leave me a message for when I get back!!!! |
| You know how they say opposites attract? Not in this case: Me = 100% beauty! You = way beyond ugly! So don't IM me, because I'm sitting at the computer now cracking up thinking about your face! |
| You know the drill! You leave a message....and I ignore it! |
| You must be pretty stupid to IM when you know I have an away message on.... |
| You suck. Leave me a message. |
| You want to know something pathetic yet funny, You actually taking the time to read my extremely boring message. (thats the pathetic part).the funny part is that I'm sitting in front of the computer screen ...laughing. |
