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"I'm not drunk. I'm just exhausted from a long night of drinking." - Peter Griffin
"It's OK officer.... they didn't drink as much as I did!"
"Real Men of Genius. Today we salute you Mr. Compulsive Away Message Checker. While most people are out actually having fun, you are at home reading about it on your computer screen. Right mouse click, Get Buddy Info, or the little Info box at the bottom of the Buddy List [whichever is faster]. You have people on that list you haven't talked to in years, but you still loyally read their away messages everyday to see what they are up to [borderline stalking]. So, crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Marauder of the Mousepad and don't wander too far from your computer because you never know when someone's away message may change."
(YOUR NAME) was here but left for a beer!
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not! Out Drinking!! :-X
99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around...
A drunk girl's words are a sober girl's thoughts...
Wait for me to come back, and see what I have to say ;)
A Is for Alochol, B is for beer. For one of those reasons, I am not here.
A party aint a party if it aint Naughty!;-)O:-);-)O:-)
Anyone adding some information about last night, let me know, cause I have no idea what happened last night
Aren't you cool! I want everyone to know how drunk I was last night too!
Army Salvation! Army Salvation! Put A Penny In The Drum, Save Another Drunkin Bum!
Ashes to Ashes Dust to dust Life is short So party we must!
At the party you obviously weren't invited to.
Beer is like an old man's penis, You just can't beat it...
Celebrating St. Patrick's Day! Yeah so what, I know it's only (insert date).
Collage! what a wonderful thing. The high honers of a prestigous ivy legue school, the wonderful class disgussions, the football games they cheerlearders, the friend fo frij ever! the indipeosdiance, ta partysg de booooozzzzze goddamnmi0t i luf kalloge?
College: Producing the most educating alcoholics since 1892.
Doing what every religeous man would be doing.... im out at the local bar conducting a ceremony praying to the porcilan gods... Join in or be lame and leave a msg
Don't drink and drive...You might hit a bump and spill your drink....Out Partying...Leave a Message....:-D
Drinking my problems away.
Drugs may lead to nowhere but at least it?s the scenic route.
Error 420 : We're sorry but the user you are trying to access is too stoned and drunk to answer your IM at this time. Please try again later and maybe he/she will have run out of weed and alcohol by then and will be able to answer your IM.
Error alcoholic : We're sorry but the user you are trying to access is too drunk to answer your IM at this time. Please try again later and maybe he/she will have run out of alcohol by then and will be able to answer your IM.
Getting drunk is a skill, alright!?!
Getting my groove on.
GOD bless guinness, most fucking amazing shit in the world, I'd take a pint over any girl ,any day
God made pot, Man made beer. Who do you trust?
Gone hunting in America... I will bring you back a couple of skinned Americans...
HALLAAAAA! Party time...it's FRIDAY night! :)
Help I've fallen and I can't reach my beer.
Hey %n I'm busy right now... there is a bottle, boys, and a circle... come back when my turn is done ;)
Hey all I'm outties having some fun =) .. Hit me up!!
Hey yeah, I'm sorry your the loser sitting at home IM'ing me thinking I'm here, but you know what, I'm out partying. Yeah you wish you could be me? Well you cant soo.... leave a message!
Hey! Party at %n house hope your goin!
Hey, I'm the cool one because I'm the one partying when you're not!! So what now?? Yea I know I'm cool!!
hide the law, the beers here
I am in bed having a party of my own
I am out partying, if you find me, please help me get home safe.
I don't have a drinking problem, unless I can't find a drink.
I don't have drinking problems, I am just very thirsty.
I forgot about you... all my friends are over here... Why arn't you???...
I have decided to stop drinking today. For every bottle of whiskey I own I will drink one glass then poor the bottle out. For every wine bottle I have I will poor a drink out and lick the bottle. Fore every glass of beer I poor I will drink another bottle of wine. 4 every wine of bottle I poor I will poor another bottle of drink for one more glass of champagne. phor beer glass drink I ppour in I glass drink it for the one i had today....... I drinking today stop another poor of glass in the drinky please!
I live for the nights I'll never remember with the friends I'll never forget!
I live my life one shot at a time.
I'm at my computer, I'm just too drunk to type anything meaningful right now.
I'm drinking my problems away. Since I have a drinking problem, this may take a while.
I'm not as think as you drunk I am!
I'm not at my computer right now because I don't want to puke all over my keyboard.
I'm out having more fun than you, I'm out partying...while your setting here reading away message's...Loooser
I'm out partying and I'll be back when I want to.
I'm out partying having a good time and if %n is readin this away message I guess your not having a great time! HIT DA CELL!
I'm out pottying. I mean Partying.
I've worked all day so now it's time to party all night.
I?m at college, what do you think I?m doing SDTRUIDNYKIINNGG!!!!!!! Enlarge Studying, shrink Drinking
If 1 and 1 is 2 then 2 and 2 is 4 but why am i on the floor, oh wait its the to-kill-ya i had at 1 and 1 then 2 and 2 and 4 is when i met the floor
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who came up with "Quit while you're ahead"?
If time is a waste of life, and life is a waste of time, then let's get wasted and have the time of our lives.
If you can read this message without any trouble, you obviously have a lack of alcohol.
Im drunk and im in la la land, you should come visit its great there.
In the immortal words of The Doors: "SHOW ME THE WAY TO THE NEXT WHISKEY BAR, OH DONT ASK WHY, OH DONT ASK WHY, SHOW ME THE WAY TO THE NEXT WHISKEY BAR, FOR IF WE DONT FIND THE NEXT WHISKEY BAR...I TELL YOU WE MUST DIE, I TELL YOU WE MUST DIE"-Jim Morrison. RIP
Is it a crime that i perfer the Champaigne insted of the King...It's all about the HIGHLIFE!
It's friday night...and where are you? oh yeah...sitting on your @$$ doing nothing!
It's FRIDAY!!! I'M OUT PATYING!!! OH IF YOU I'M ME WHILE I HAVE THIS UP! YOU DON'T HAVE A DATE... LOL
It's party time P-A-R-T-Y? because I gotta!!!!!
Killin Brain cells!
Let me check my watch.....Yup right on time for killing my liver and lungs before I graduate.
Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. So lets all get wasted, And have the time of our lives!
Life is short...Party naked!!!
My boyfriends outa town...I'm out partying it up!
My god, %n, why are you sitting at your computer? Can I say LOSER? I mean really! GO TO A PARTY FOR GOD'S SAKE!
Now I lay me down to sleep with an empty bottle of vodka at my feet if I die before I wake tell my girls I drank it straght.
Officer I swear to drunk im not god.
Officer, I swear there's no blood in my alcohol stream.
One tequilla, two tequilla, three tequilla...FLOOR!
Out drinking-peace
Out partying, I'll be back when the sun starts to come up.
Out taking some sips, leave a tequila.
Out to save the world...one jack and coke at a time.
P-is for party A-is for all night R-is for rhythm T-is for tonight Y is for you because you know what to do... Party!
Parties don't stop till eight in da mornin! ;)
Party hardy, friends forever, out all nite, we'll be together, stay till dawn, then home to sleep, can't wait to do it all again next week.
Partyin like rockstars :):):)
Partying all night leads to great stories all next day.
Partying all night leads to puking all day.
Partying Hardy.
Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
Save water, drink beer instead.
Sleep all day, Party all night.
snowww Yeeeaaaah!!!!:-D, just imagine me prancing around outside with those big flakes falling...ahhhhhh,hahahahah I am a snow angelO:-), i think its time to lay off the booze
so mass was frigin packed ao my family left and instead....went to the bar:-D, really!!! and got some wings and tall boys for the beer of the month, now I ma off to the x-mass eve party with the fam and oh boy am i ready, sweet sweet guiness:-!
So, MIP's Are fun...
Some people say that you're funnier when you are drunk...I'm out testing to see if that's true.
Some people say that your more fun when your drunk. I'm off to go see if thats true... gone drinking.
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
Sorry officer, I had to drive, I couldn't walk.
Speakerz are Boomin' Bodiez Movin'. Nonstop Groovin' Assez Shakin'.Floorz Brakin' Lolipop Lickin. People Buzzin' Raverz Flowin. Litez Glowin' 2da Club is Where Im Goin'!
Take me drunk. I am home.
The doctor says I needed to start drinking 8 to 10 glasses a day, unfortunatley I am having hangovers for this reason...wait he meant water?!
There are no absolutes in life or love -only vodka
Time is not wasted if you are wasted all the time.
To alcohol. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. ~Homer Simpson
Urinating ... with drinking in between =)
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a disgruntled peanut..
What is the difference between a drunk person and a stoned person when it comes to a stop sign? A drunk person will run right though it and a stoned person will wait for it to turn green!
When life hands you lemons....grab the tequila and salt:)
When we drink, we get drunk. when we get drunk we fall asleep. when we fall asleep we commit no sin. when we commit no sin, we go to heaven. sooooo, lets all get drunk and go to heaven O:-) .
When you get pulled over and the cop says "Your eyes look red have you been drinking?" repond with "Well officer your eyes look glazed have you been eating doughnuts?"
When you see me tonight, politely remind me I have class tomorrow.
Whiskey is yellow, Vodka is clear, But I ain't got neither of those, So I'm drinkin me a beer.
Why drink the house, when you can be living the High Life
Yesterday, scientists for the FDA suggested that men take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis revealing the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were given 6 cans of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.
You call it taking advantage...I call it persausion
You can always retake a class but you can never relive a party.