| "Hey! You aren't cool, unless you pee your pants!" ~Billy Madison |
| "In the shower....Who wants to join in the fun??" |
| "It's OK officer... they didn't drink as much as I did!" |
| "Hey! You aren't cool, unless you pee your pants!" ~Billy Madison |
| 'm in the tub with my lil rubber ducky! |
| *DING DONG*..... Nature calling. |
| *Ring ring ring* Nature's calling,......be back soon! |
| *T*I*N*K*L*E *T*I*N*K*L*E In the toilet .... :)... :HEY GIVE ME SOME PRIVACY!!! |
| 1,2,3, I'm Going Pee So DON'T FRICKING DISTURB ME!!! |
| 1,2,3,4 I'm going potty, so shut the door!! |
| A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W U X Y Z.......what letter is missing....if you guessed P you are right... b/c it is running down my leg....brb |
| ABCDEFG All my turds are chasin me.One is small,one is fat,one got eaten by my cat.ABCDEFG A ll my turds are chasin me. |
| ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZIf your wondering where the P is... its about to run down my leg in a second. |
| after my 1or so years on this planet i have learned a few things: #girls are btiches and #guys are ass holes. I believe this is a result of A negative feedback mechanism from the ladies. It results in me being an asshole. So I have come about with a way to stop this...Stop Being Bitches...and if you don't believ this will work ladies just try it for a month, no bitchyness at all and bam, their just might be an alright guy hiding in that asshole |
| Anchors Away! |
| Arty Farty had a party,all the farts were there.Tootie Frutty dropped a beauty and they all went out for air!! |
| Be back in a splash ... In the john! |
| Be right back I am feeding the toilet its dinner. |
| Be right back... I would have come up with a more creative away message but I have to pee really badly |
| Bleeding the lizard. |
| Boo!! I scared you I think you pooped your pants!! Now you can wait in line while I poop. |
| Brb, I gotta drop trou and squeze out a Cleavland steamer. |
| Breaking the seal, leave me one. |
| Bringin the Browns to the Superbowl |
| Bud Light Presents: Real American Heroes. Today I salute you Mr./Mrs./Ms. Compulsive Away Message Checker. While most people are out actually having a fun college life, you are at home, reading about it on your computer screen. Right mouse click, Get Buddy Info, or the little Info box at the bottom of the Buddy List [whichever is faster]. You have people on that list you haven't talked to in years, but you still loyally read their away messages everyday to see what they are up to [borderline stalking]. So sit back, Marauder of the Mousepad, and don't wander too far from your computer because you never know when someone's away message may change |
| Can't you SEE, that i have to PEE?!?!?! |
| Could you please direct me to the used beer department? I have an oversized load to deliver! |
| Day by day...week by week....right now I gotta go take a leak |
| Death to all alien toasters |
| Diarrhea, diarrhea.... When you're walking in the hall and you feel something fall, diarrhea! diarrhea! When your standing on a ladder and you feel something splatter, diarrhea! Diarrhea! |
| Doctors say that it is good for us to drink 8-10 glasses of water a day. Unfortunately it has its consequences. brb |
| Doctors suggest that you should drink at least 64 oz. of water a day. Being a drone, I make sure to do this. Unfortunately it does have some side effects... Leave a message, I'll be back soon. |
| Doing paper work.. |
| Doing some consulting with my toilet right now. |
| Doing something funky in the bathroom. |
| Don't procrastinate, urinate! |
| Don't settle for the one you can live with, wait for the one you can't live without. |
| Don't waste water, shower with a friend. |
| Don't you wish you were my homework so I'd be doing you right now? |
| Dont you hate it when you flush...and that lil pebble of crap comes back up!...WHAT DOES THAT LIL PEBBLE CRAP WANT? |
| Doodie called and now we're having a long conversation in the bathroom. |
| Doody calls. |
| Draining the one-eyed giant. |
| Drop me a message while I drop something in the toilet. |
| Dropin' the kids off at the pool if you get what I'm sayin... |
| Dropping bombs on Toiletville. |
| Dropping of the Cosby Kids |
| Dropping the kid off at the pool, oh wait i think its twins..... ahhhhhhhh |
| Dropping the kids off at the pool. |
| Ever see that movie where the alien breaks through that guys chest? Well that just happened to me...but in my pants |
| Everyone sh*ts. So yup, you guessed it. I'm taking a dump :-) |
| Feeding the toilet some chocolate... |
| Feeding the toilet. |
| Fiber cleans everything but the toilet. |
| Food... it does the body good. Leave me one! |
| Girls were a poor investment. I want my rib back. |
| Giving head be back in 1min. |
| Gone pissin' |
| Gotta go Gotta go Gotta go right now Gotta go Gotta Go......LOOKOUT SHE'S GONNA BLOW!!!! |
| Gotta pee.... Be back in three! |
| Growing a Tail. (Harvey Swanson) |
| Happiness is like peeing on yourself, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. |
| Have you ever felt what it't like to piss like a race horse? Grab onto my dick real quick and you will! |
| Hear no Evil, See no Evil, Speak no Evil, Sometimes you just gotta take a Shit! |
| hello i want friend ship withh u |
| HELP! I'm trapped in the toilet, I fell in. Can you please help me... Hello... Hello.. Uh-oh i think someone is coming. |
| Help, I'm on the toilet and I'm out of toilet paper. |
| Here I sit broken hearted, tried to shit and only farted. Later on I took a chance......tried to fart and shit my pants. |
| Hey %n, Don't you hate when you are going number 2 and the water splashes up on your butt? well thats whats happening to me at the moment....Splash! |
| Hey a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. and right now this girls gotta do-do... |
| Hey I am relieving myself, I'll be back when its all over. |
| Hey I'm takin a BrB (Bath Room Break)! So sit tight and I'll be right back! |
| Hey right now I'm acting like a dump truck because I'm taking a load off so I'll be back after I'm done takin a dump...brb...:-D |
| Hey, I went to go potty, lol, but if you're one fine lookin' hottie, you stay here. |
| Hfgewhfgsfbnyuk6jr yrnyth jb4th 6t3r tr3gf5r r3vgrftttttttr 43t 56j435gy34b 435gv4y3tg5y4utyueruthevgtu54yyytrtrrim pooping so my typing is a little off |
| Hi this is (your name here)'s bladder, if it weren't for me, (name) would still be here talking to you. |
| Homework...homework... homework... I can't have a life, I have homework! |
| How dry I am, how wet I'll be, if you don't stop, IMing me. You got offline, now I'm heading for the door... oops it's to late...it's on the bathroom floor. |
| How dry I am. How wet I'll be. If I don't find, The bathroom key. |
| How many times do I have to flush before you go away? |
| I am christening the toilet I will be right back! |
| I am currently fixated upon the mystical disappearing water act that the toilet bowl can continuously provide. |
| I am currently relieving the stress that's on my bladder. |
| I am diposing some of my nautral resorces. |
| I am going to the potty so don't leave if your a hottie. |
| I am not here and I have gone to a better place... yep... I'm on the toilet!! |
| I am not here I'm on the potty, but don't leave if you're a hotty. |
| I am on the potty, but don't you leave if you're a HOTTIE! |
| I am probably far away in another land.....or I just might be on the toilet. |
| I am scratching in the litterbox at the moment. |
| I am sorry I am not here right now but I got tired of the prairie dog poking his head in and out. Until further notice the prairie dog is still stuck. |
| I am stranded on toilet island. |
| I am such a generous person that I have desided to share a part of myself with the toilet. |
| I am taking care of some buisness, that just happens to be taken care of in a small room with a tub and toilet. |
| I can't be at the pooter right now cause I'm in the bathroom on the pooper! |
| I got a meeting with Mr. Johnson, be back in minutes. |
| I gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now, I gotta go, gotta go, gotta go!(use the bathroom) |
| I gotta pee like a race horse goin on it's 3rd lap!! be b/k in a jiffy!! |
| I have to go to the bathroom... my back teeth are swimming! |
| I think i'm going to need a plunger!!! Can I borrow yours? |
| I was here, but now I'm gone. Because I went to use the john!! |
| I was sitting here thinking about how fat I've gotten recently. Then I started thinking about exercising. But thinking made me hungry, so I gotta eat! |
| I went to potty land and won't be back for another 10 hours, I hope we can talk later. |
| I went to the bathroom...and I have not figured out how to pull my zipper up yet. I am still working on it... be back later (I hope) |
| I'll be right back, my potty is thirsty. |
| I'll give you one guess about what I'm doing. It involves a #1 and or #2. |
| I'm at the bank making a deposit, no not that kind of bank, I'm on the toilet. |
| I'm at the Log Dropping Ceremonies. |
| I'm delivering a package to the toilet. |
| I'm downloading right now... Literally. |
| I'm draining out my fluids. |
| I'm droppin' the Jeffersons off at the Pool. |
| I'm feeding the bathroom with Chocolate and Mellow Yellow. |
| I'm feeding the potty, please leave a message and I'll get back to you when its full! |
| I'm in a foreign land far far away... Oh wait, this is just the bathroom. |
| I'm in the bathroom right now...Be back in a splash. |
| I'm in the Shower ...stop THINKIN of me Nakie...imma Go put something on....Awwwwww Stop laughing at what I'm wearing. |
| I'm in the tub with my lil rubber ducky! |
| I'm inspecting my log at the moment |
| I'm magically changing the color of my teeth. |
| I'm magically changing the color of the toilet water. |
| I'm magically changing the color of toilet paper. |
| I'm making a deposit to the water bank! get it? |
| I'm making a donation to tha urination station. |
| I'm making soup in the pot! BRB! |
| I'm not as think as I drunk you am. |
| I'm not here but check the bathroom, that's where I found %n last time! |
| I'm not here cause I'm goin #1...or maybe #2, oh GOD I hope its #2, it feels so good when I go 2#. |
| I'm not here right because I'm dropin' a load leave me a message. |
| I'm off to the urination station. |
| I'm on the crapper. Deal with it. |
| I'm on the toilet, pretending to be a fighter pilot dropping bombs into the ocean. |
| I'm prairie doggin' it. Be back in a few hours. |
| I'm puttin' the brown ball through the hoop. |
| I'm slipping and sliding in the shower. |
| I'm stuck in the potty. |
| I'm taking a dump at the moment so if its not to much trouble just dump a message on the screen. |
| I'm taking a pee... Please wait for me... |
| I'm taking a piss right now..but instead of taking it I think I'll leave it.BrB |
| I'm taking a pitstop to the bathroom be back later.. maybe soon maybe a little bit later.. it depends on what I had for dinner.. I dont really remember so... I'll be back when i'm done.. |
| I'm taking a shower now because the neighbors are starting to complain. |
| I'm taking a shower so I smell good for you. |
| I'm taking advantage of indoor plumbing, be back in 2minutes. |
| I'm taking advantage of indoor pluming! I'll be right back! |
| I'm taking the Browns to the Super Bowl, and by the looks of it it is going to be tough. |
| I'm there on the potty and I'm not leaving till it all comes out. |
| I'm trying out my new toilet paper. |
| I'm using the bathroom so leave me alone, if it's an emergency call me on the phone, if it's not just stay right there, hey quit looking it's rude to stare. |
| I'm using the bathroom...well, actually I fell in, but what can you do about a toliet the size of a bath tub oh never mind it IS a bath tub! BRB |
| I'm visiting my friend John who feels a little flushed. |
| I've gone to the most refreshing place in the world...Yup that'd be the bathroom ;-) |
| I've gone to un-retain some water. |
| I've got a booty call...from the toilet, if you know what I mean. |
| I've to run cause I got the runs. |
| If I had a computer in my bathroom, I wouldn't be away right now. |
| If I'm not back in 10 minutes, you better go in the bathroom and yell for me. Who knows, I coulda got flushed down there and wind up in your toilet. |
| If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down. |
| If the world was a toilet, then I'd be sitting on top of the world right now. |
| If u once thought something warm down ur leg was nothing.....and u couldnt figure out wut the hell it was....and .....wait a sec its happening to me right now...brb |
| If you are reading this then that means I have gone to a better place... yep I am on the toilet. |
| If you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat! |
| If you tinkle when you sprinkle please be neat and whipe the seat. I'm in the bathroom ... brb |
| If your happy and you know it crap your pants.....oops I meant clap your hands! |
| im in sleep mode...zzz... |
| Im in the crapper!!! bbl |
| im not here now, im off stopping the killer monkey revolt!!!!!! |
| In about 5 minutes I will weigh about 5 pounds less than I do right now. |
| In the bathroom doing my biz ... hit me up. |
| In the shower gettin squeaky clean! |
| It's "Potty Time." |
| It's a truth we must remember, it's a fact as sure as fate. There are some things that can't be hurried and some things that just can't wait. In case you didn't get the message I'm in the bathroom. |
| It's my potty and I'll pee if I want to!!! |
| It's raining! Oh, nevermind that's just the shower. |
| It's that time of the month again.... Shower time in our house! |
| Its that time of the week again.. I'm in the shower. |
| King (or Queen) (your name) is on the throne. |
| Launching a rocketship is like taking a crap, the rocket flies into space, then gets sucked in by a black hole. |
| Lay off me, I'm starving! - Chris Farley |
| Making a sacrifice to the toilet god. |
| Making an offering to the porcelain god. |
| Making Apple Juice the human way :-P. |
| Making big waves in the toilet. |
| Making brownies. |
| Making Hershey Kisses. (Harvey Swanson) |
| Making it rain in Toiletville. |
| Making my bladder flatter. |
| Making My Bladder Gladder :o) |
| Making my bladder gladder, beotch! |
| Making my mouth fresh and so clean. |
| Making waves in the toilet. |
| Man I need to lose weight I am ssssoooo fat that I weigh 55pounds and I am 1and a female .Isn??t that sad but I know you want me don??t worry I am going to the bathroom and will weight 9pounds when I done! |
| maybe something nice, long, hot, and all wet will make me feel better. a shower you sickos |
| Monkey C Monkey Dew Well I don't C But I go Dew |
| Monkey See, monkey do, and I just saw monkey take a poo. |
| My bladder is about to explode! BRB |
| My butt and the toilet are having a serious conversation |
| My constipation medicine has now worn out. Let me sit on the pot for an hour. Be back when I'm not constipated!!! |
| My dad says he needs me in the bathroom to take care of some plumbing issues??whatever that means? |
| My stocks of quilted bathroom tissue are depleated. Come let us journey to the warehouse retailer. |
| My toilet's favorite food is chocolate and right now I'm feeding it some. |
| My toilet's hungry. I'll go feed it some chocolate and lemonade. |
| My tummy's full so I'm emptying it. |
| Nature called...HEY! How did it get my number? O well, brb! |
| Nature is calling....and I'm answering!! |
| Nature's on the phone! Be back in a sec..maybe more.. |
| Negotiating the release of the chocolate hostages. |
| Niagra Falls is calling my name!!! |
| No job is finished until the paperwork is done. In the bathroom, leave me one! |
| O0o0o who lives in a pineapple under the sea?........Spongebob SquarepantsWho left their computer because they had to pee? ...........(your name) |
| Omg I had way way too much coke and well, you can just guess the rest... |
| On the potty, if I'm not back in 5 minutes, I fell in. |
| One turd, two turd, red turd, blue turd!!!! (To Cat in the Hat) |
| Oompa looma doobiti doo... Here'z another riddle for u... What do you get when you bother me? This message saying I had to go pee. |
| Out chasing little boys in the parking lot... be back when i catch one! |
| Out doing some consulting with my toilet right now. |
| Parting with my business. |
| pee (pe), v., peed, peeing, n. Slang. - v.i. 1. to urinate. -n. 2. urine. 3. the act of urinating. [ euphemism for piss] 4. the... You get the idea. |
| Pee is yellow, dooty is brown, when the sewer brakes, its all over the town. |
| Playing with my rubber duckie. I'll be back when I'm all clean. |
| Plop plop fiz fiz oh what a relief it is. |
| Plop plop, fizz fiiz, oh what a relief it is.....in the bathroom. |
| poopin...if you didnt want to know you shouldnt have asked |
| Putting one through the hoop. |
| Reigning on my throne. |
| Ridding myself of internal famine. |
| Riding the porcilien pony. |
| Ring around the toilet, set your butt upon it, here it comes, here it comes, now it all goes down!!:-D |
| Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'd rather be shopping than talk to you. |
| Rub-a dub-dub, there better not be men in my tub. |
| Rub-a-dub-dub, I'm in the tub...maybe even with three men! |
| Seeing if there really are 1000 sheets of toilet paper in each roll. |
| Selecting various food items from our storage for personal consumption. |
| Sh*t happens... aparently It's happening right now. |
| Shower Power! |
| Since I sprinkle when I tinkle, I am being neat and wiping the seat. |
| Singing in the shower. |
| Sittin on the Throne, visiting with the Arch Dook |
| SOMEONE BROKE THE TOILET! Running to 7/11 |
| Sometimes we like it up and down and sometimes we like it back and forth and it only takes about two minutes to do, but it feels great so maybe you should go brush your teeth too. |
| Somewhere over the toilet. |
| Sorry but I am confronting the Pharoe to let my little brown people go...gonna take some hard pushing but i think it will all come out ok in the end! |
| Sorry I am currently downloading to the toilet. |
| Sorry I'm not here at my computer at the present moment, but I am on the toilet. If you would like to come over and bring me some toilet paper that would be greatly appreciated. |
| Sorry, I am gone dropping off some friends at the lake! |
| Sorry... Nature is calling and she's pretty long winded... |
| Splish, splash, I am taking a bath. |
| Swish, swish, goes the pee. Plop, plop, goes the poop. I'm in the bathroom! |
| Taking a pee or maybe a poo,I dont know just what to do,But ill find out when im in there,After I pull down my underwear! |
| Taking the Browns to the Superbowl |
| The average person goes to the bathroom 6 times per day. This is one of those times. |
| The bathroom is a good place to be, When you just drank a gallon of water! |
| The notorious turtle head is a pokin'. Oh wait there he went. |
| The rabbit goes nibble, the cow goes moo, the pig goes oink, and I go poo! |
| There is a place... Like no other place... A place of learning... A place of hope... A place of warmth... A place of security... A place of healing... A place of relaxation... A place of love... And no matter what, a part of you is always left behind. You've guessed it. I'm on the can. |
| This is meI went to peeWEEE! |
| Today we are experiencing some massive yellow rainfall and gigantic brown hail stones. |
| Trying to lose 5 pounds the easy .....I am taking crap be back in a bit!!! |
| Um.. My stomach hurts so I'm freeing the slaves.. leave one ;) |
| Umm.. hello.. can somebody please help me.. HELLO!! I'm stuck in the toilet.. PLEASE, somebody.. Um.. okay I think someone is coming!!! HELPPPP!!! |
| Unloading... |
| Visiting the greatest nation is the world... Urination. |
| Waiting for someone to bring me some toilet paper. |
| Watching my toothbrush make out with my teeth. |
| Watching the fan go round and round and round and round and round and round and......uto I gotta hurl. |
| Well, I will be right back I am gonna go pay the water bill really quick like! |
| Whatever goes in, must come out. |
| When something stinks, you're probanly somewhere close to an Australian. (Submitted by a South African) |
| When you got to go, you got to go. |
| When your eyes start to water, I think that your bladder is trying to tell you something. |
| Where is the smelliest wishing well in your house? The Toilet!!! brb |
| Wheres the bathroom? Third bush after the rock...let me give you a guess I am in the bathroom...brb |
| Yo, emptying myself. I'll be back, much lighter. |
| You ever think the white toilet paper is boring? Yeah me too, I'm going go add some color to it. |
| You have to hold it, because I can't any longer. |
| You Know How Jets Make Like A Jet And Jet...Well...I Have To Make Like A Dumptruck And...Ummm...You Get The Point... |
| You know the expression, "I have to pee like a race horse?" That's what I'm doing right now. |
| You know the saying "A load off my back"....well..I'm about to take a load off my ass. |
| You know the saying, "make like a plane and jet"?...well I have to make like a dumptruck and....uh....well...you know. |
| You know you are addicted to the internet when you refer to going to the bathroom as downloading. |
| Youngen Me had a farm, E-I-e-i-o. And on his farm there was a toilet e-i-e-i-o, with a flush-flush here, and a flush-flush there, here a flush there a flush, evrywhere a flush-flush, Youngen Me had to pee! he will b-r-b! (sing to the music of OldMcDonaldHad A farm) |
