"Requires Team Leadership Skills" Employment Ad

Phrase: "Requires Team Leadership Skills"
What it really means: You will have the responsibilities of a manager without the pay or respect.

"24-hour bar" Travel Agent Say

Phrase: 24-hour bar
What it really means: ice cubes at additional cost (when available).

"Revolutionary" High Tech Marketing Buzzword

Phrase: Revolutionary
What it really means: It's different from our competitors

"Will advise you in due course" Business Phrase

Phrase: Will advise you in due course
What it really means: If we figure it out, we'll let you know.

"It has long been known" Scientists Say

Phrase: "It has long been known"
What it really means: I didn't look up the original reference.

"To Activate" Business Phrase

Phrase: To Activate
What it really means: To make carbons and add more names to the memo.

"Tropical" Travel Agent Say

Phrase: Tropical
What it really means: rainy.

"Talk to me in my office after class." Teachers Say

Phrase: Talk to me in my office after class.
What it really means: Get out of my face.

"Your letter is receiving our attention" Business Phrase

Phrase: Your letter is receiving our attention
What it really means: We are still trying to figure out what you want.

"Potential show stopper" Business Phrase

Phrase: Potential show stopper
What it really means: The team has updated their resumes.

"Serious but not insurmountable problems" Business Phrase

Phrase: Serious but not insurmountable problems
What it really means: It'll take a miracle.

"Thank you for your time and consideration" Job Applicants Say

Phrase: Thank you for your time and consideration
What it really means: Wait! Don't throw me away!

"Move in condition" Realtor Term

Phrase: Move in condition
What it really means: Front door missing.

"We're considerably ahead of plan" Entrepreneur's Say

Phrase: We're considerably ahead of plan
What it really means: We hit plan in one of the last three months

"We'll just skip the term paper this semester." Teachers Say

Phrase: We'll just skip the term paper this semester.
What it really means: There wasn't enough money in the budget for a TA.

"We're currently revisiting the budget" Entrepreneur's Say

Phrase: We're currently revisiting the budget
What it really means: Our financial plan is in total chaos

"Maintenance-free" High Tech Marketing Buzzword

Phrase: Maintenance-free
What it really means: Impossible to fix

"Security system" Realtor Term

Phrase: Security system
What it really means: Neighbor has a dog.

"Everyone will prepare in-class oral presentations. = This course is outside my specialty"

Phrase: Everyone will prepare in-class oral presentations. = This course is outside my specialty
What it really means: I'll just bluff it and let you teach.

"Close to lakes" Realtor Term

Phrase: Close to lakes
What it really means: Impossible to park from April to October.

"Please note the last day to withdraw." Teachers Say

Phrase: Please note the last day to withdraw.
What it really means: The midterm's gonna suck.

"We'll have to cover this chapter quickly." Teachers Say

Phrase: We'll have to cover this chapter quickly.
What it really means: I screwed up on the lecture schedule.

"Don't come in late during my lecture." Teachers Say

Phrase: Don't come in late during my lecture.
What it really means: I have the attention span of a fruit fly.

"Window of opportunity" Entrepreneur's Say

Phrase: Window of opportunity
What it really means: Without more money, the company is dead