Just watched that TLC show where they exploit people.
They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.
Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself?
What is the purpose of reindeer? It makes the grass grow, sweetie.
I don't need to walk a mile in your shoes. I can see you’re a train wreck from all the way over here
Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant
Show me where Stalin's buried and I'll show you a communist plot.
Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
Money can’t buy happiness but it sure buys a lot of distractions.
Which president was least guilty? Lincoln. He is in a cent.
What is the difference between one yard and two yards? A fence
Where do you find giant snails? On the ends of giant's fingers.
When she told me I was average, she was just being mean
I went to a seafood disco rave last week and pulled a mussel.