If At First You Don't Succeed ... Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.

I still miss my ex-wife. But my aim is improving.

Don't drink to drown your sorrow. Sorrow knows how to swim.

All men are idiots, and I married their king

I can handle pain until it hurts.

I should never have invented the electoral college. -Al Gore

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

Help Stamp Out And Eradicate Superfluous Redundancy

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.

This truck has been in 15 accidents...and hasn't lost one yet..

When there's a will, I want to be in it!

Unless You're A Hemorrhoid, STAY OFF MY ASS!

To err is human; to forgive is not Company Policy.

You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

by adrian · 5 months · in Bit under Funny

You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

You can pick your nose and pick your friends, but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

Driver carries less than $20 IN AMMUNITION..

Women are born leaders, LOOK you are following one now!

Super Bowl is french for...sitting on your ass and getting fat.

You have been a naughty boy, go to my room!

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

You can't be late until you show up.

Yes, As A Matter Of Fact, I Do Own The Whole Damn Road!

Your Child May Be An Honor Student, But You’re Still An Asshole

What If There Were No Hypothetical Questions?