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If you try to get your ex partner back by going out with someone else in order to make your ex jealous, you will succeed but by the time you have achieved what you set out to do you will have fallen for the other person.

A good guy will never, ever, shoot a bad guy in the kneecap, even if it would be incredibly helpful to him.

In any musical, no matter how tough the gang and/or bad guy, they/he can always belt out a heartfelt melody in a deep and lilting baritone voice.

A woman´s shoes always make high heel clacking sounds, regardless which shoe type she wears. She can even wear sneakers...

Whenever at a bar or dance with loud music cranked up on high, the couple the audience sees talking have perfectly audible voices and can talk as though there is no music.

In most 80's action flicks bussiness men and security guards look like Huey Lewis or Bruce Springsteen.

The villain will always have thousands of henchmen working for him or a small army that follows him.

There is always a full moon when people goto bed. When the lights are turned off, a delayed light turns on, causing a blue cast in the room in which they could read by.

If you are going to be killed it has to be at a time when you are alone and it has to be at night and raining.

If you see something, then turn away, it wont be there the next time you look.

The antidote to any horrible, out-of-control virus can always be attained somewhere in the neighborhood of the other side of the world often from an exotic plant. Somehow these plants can always be reproduced to cure the epidemic.

It is impossible for two colleages of the opposite sex to have a completely proffessional relationship.

If you decide to launch into song there will always be backing music available.

If the movie is set in America any Australians will talk with a British accent.

Women of action can run, do karate, kickbox, climb ladders and perform highly acrobatic movements while wearing six inch heals and either a miniskirt or a tight leather cat suit.

If a person has an occupation that involves spending most of their working hours at weddings, their love life will be a disaster or non-existent.

If the bad guy is some kind of well-dressed senior chief of a big company, he´s most likely a brutal guy who likes to kick the hero into the face or some other vital parts of the body.

If you´re getting kicked into the face, there´s no real problem with that. Regardless how hard you´ve been kicked, you will stay unconcious for the maximum of five minutes. Then, after saying "Ouch!", you´ll be able to get on your feet again and rescue the world. You don´t have broken cheek bones or jaw fractures, of course. And there´s not even the slightest hematoma to be seen.

Every city - despite of its size - has at least one old lady who drives herbelongings in some old baby buggy or shopping cart around. If the lady is a guy he always uses a shopping cart and never a baby buggy.

If some old wino witnesses some sort of unbelievable event (aliens landing, Monsters eating people...), there are two possibilities. He either looks at the paper-wrapped bottle with a view of disgust, throws it away and starts a new life or he takes a deep breath and then slowly walks the other direction.

Radiation - despite of its amount - almost instantly results in burn wounds or big ugly abscesses with yellow fluid leakings. Oh yes, this is only for bad guys. Good guys will never suffer from radiation instantly. And the hero, of course, will not suffer from radiation at all...

German soldiers/terrorists seem to be able to pronounce only two phrases correctly: "Jawohl!" und "Herr General!". For all the other words they mostly use some kind of guttural Orc language. This assumes that they all have short names like Karl or Franz. Names with more than one syllable don´t occur because they wouldn´t be able to pronounce them, anyway... The more consonants a German surname has, the more evil the character is. If he also has some kind of aristocratic prefix he´s the incarnate evil. So, "von Strattmann" is likely more evil than "Strattmann".

If you ring the bell of a house and nobody opens after the third try the possibilities depend on the inhabitant´s character: If she is the only important witness she almost surely lies slaughtered in the bath tube. If he is the only important witness he almost surely lies on the ground with a bullet in his head. If, by some obscure circumstances, you find the person alive, unbothered and unharmed, you´re to be sure that the poor guy/girl will be killed soon after you leave. If she holds some vital information about the villain and belongs to the villain´s labour/group she most likely is gone shopping and is about to return just in the second you found the vital information. So, no danger here... If he holds some vital information about the villain and belongs to the villain´s labour/group he most likely enters the room soon after you started the search. No real danger here, too, since those guys always ask "What are you doing here!" before they draw their weapons. So, either talk yourself out of the situation or knock the guy out.

Male teenagers who are new to town always suffer from the "New Kid Syndrom", which means that nobody likes them, unless they make some new odd friend. This new friend most likely is one of three types; 1)Another underdog kid with odd abilities and odd habits. 2) An old guy who teaches some kind of weird martial arts voodoo. 3) Some crazy animal like worn-out race horses, unbelievable clever dogs, dolphins, Orcas, Wolfes or wild cats. By this, they usually get the attention of the hottest girl at school, whose
boyfriend is anything other than happy about that. They normally start a fight at one point, the animal gets hurt (poor thing), the girl slaps her former boyfriend, kisses the new kid, all are happy, the end.

For the female teenagers there is only one way to go; they find a new friend (odd girl, dance teacher, old lady) who transform them into Cinderella. So she first gets attracted by the school´s Idiot (seen from the sight of an adult: football star, best looking bully, is barely able to read or write) but later chooses the friendly, shy guy that she got to know on her first day, all are happy, the end.

The janitor of a school is either a frightening old guy who hates children or he is a unbelievable friendly person who is always there for the underdogs.

In every comedy the main character´s boss is a complete and utter idiot. In real life this type of guy would even have diffiuties to get the job as a street cleaner but in movieland they all seem to have good, highly paid jobs.

If the title "Professor" is connected to some kind of important invention, the inventor is most likely a white male in his 60s w/ scruffy hair-doo, metal-rimmed glasses and at least one unearthly beautiful AND smart daughter. If he has also a son, it´s most likely that this son might betray his father by stealing this important invention. If he has two sons and no daughters, one of the sons is good, the other is evil.

If there by some odd circumstances are commercials on Radio/TV in a movie, they are almost about ridiculous things that noone would ever buy. It´s most likely that only the product´s name is mentioned and you have absolutely no idea what it might be. Like "Stroodles! Buy one, get one free!"

If Teenagers find themselves locked in the house and lots of scary things happen (aka masked people running around with axes, knifes or chainsaws) they eventually try to call the police after they found their best friend´s head in some odd place (usually the fridge or the wardrobe) or slip on some litres of blood in a room where their best friend´s hanging upside down from the ceiling. But no matter what they try (normal phone, dad´s radio set, cellphones) they never get through.

If you move to a strange village where strange things happen, you´re to be sure that half of the townsfolk is involved while the other half is on vacation.

It never fails that right when the girl yells out to her boyfriend she's gonna go take a shower, the killer happens to be close by and then creeps in the bathroom to kill her. When the girl hears a small creak in the floor boards she calls out her boyfriend's name and then gets out of the shower wrapping herself in a towel. She then goes around the corner to have the killer bring her to her death.

Whenever the main hero is about to confess something important to another character (usually a love interest) they both have something to say. The hero lets the other person go first, and whatever they say makes the hero not want to say what he was about to say. When asked what they were going to say, they say something unimportant like "Nice dress".

All simulation computers used by any government agency (i.e. NASA) should be discounted in the face of the intuition of new/inexperienced/underdog characters, who will inevitably sway their doubters at a critical moment by screaming, "Their computers are wrong! I know I'm right!"

People never get hickups , sneeze, or cough during movies.

Whenever the hero crawls through the ventilation system, the vents are never hot or cold. That way, the hero never has to burn himself on the hot metal while he is eluding the villain. Likewise, he will never have to shiver if the air conditioning is on.

Clapping finales in the movies often follow the same rules. First, there will be complete silence after the hero accomplishes a task or gives an inspiring speech. Second, one solitary person (this is often someone who means a great deal to the hero. The hero might have even had relationship problems with this person) will begin to clap slowly and rhythmically. Third, the solitary clapper is slowly joined by another...and then another...and then another clapper until ultimately everyone is clapping for the hero. ex. Cool Runnings, Strictly Ballroom, Can't Buy Me Love, etc.

Cleaning ladies in movies always wear black and white.

Butlers always speak in a monotone voice and are very unhappy.

The murderers in horror movies always have to be some nerd seeking revenge on the popular kids.

Whenever you see kids playing video games, they're always pressing random buttons constantly on the controller and making facial expressions while tilting their bodies side to side.

A woman falls in love with a superhero whose alter ego is madly in love with her. Eventually, she rejects the superhero for the "mild-mannered" alternate identity, but it is only when she kisses him for the first time that she realizes who he truly is. This cliche is never applied to men who fall in love with female superheroes. Ever.

If your dream is shown, then that dream is one of three things:
1) A perfectly accurate memory of some ancient time;
2) A completely correct vision of the future, or;
3) A 100% perfect psychic sending from the present.

If you're a male police officer, you will lose your job due to catching the wrong man and embaressing the police force. Don't worry, though; you will continue with the case on your own and eventually catch the right guy.

The president/leader of any organization will be in a swivel chair. You will start talking to them, and only when you enrage them will they turn around.

Although the most experienced sports team that have tried and tried and practiced and practiced for months before the big tournament can never win the trophy, a small group of geeky misfits will win it with ease.

Horror movies are the only movies where you can see a skinny, blonde chick start a chainsaw.

Anyone that's out in the ocean will be eaten by a shark.

There's always a midget in a carnival.

Phone lines are always cut off or busy when a person is trying to call for help when running from a murderer.

Guns never have to be reloaded. Characters will shoot forever.

The boss is always a cynical jerk.

Despite the character's job, they're always working in a cubicle.

All old ladies in movies have cats.

Lifeguards never hear your cries of help on the beach. Never.

In teen movies, the football player ALWAYS goes out with the cheerleader.

Throwing spitballs and passing notes are the ONLY two forms of amusement in a classroom when it comes to movies.

There's always thet weird, 'dum dum DUM DUM' sound of music playing in the background when a character is hiding from the murderer in their closet.

Everyone wears their shoes on inside the house.

All teens have a huge poster of the opposite sex on the back of their door.

Teens are always confronted by their lover/crush/friend the EXACT moment they open their locker.

Someone always falls with their tray in the cafeteria.

Asian nerds are portrayed as having big teeth and thick glasses with huge black rims and their hair style is a bowl cut.

Nerds always have to wear plaid, if not a pocket protector.

If you're in an anime (Japanese cartoon) movie, then your importance to the story will be determined by the strangeness of your hairstyle.

No matter how mysterious she is, no matter what she's said, no matter where she's from, you will always be willing to fight to the death to save the life of a woman you met 5 seconds ago.

If you're in a horror movie, never, EVER attend social parties. That's where you're gonna die.

The villain will not kill you when you are weak and at their mercy - this is because they are going to use you to do their evil will while making you think you're saving the world.

All ancient legends are true. All age-old stories are real. All prophecies will come true, almost immediately.

No need to dial - if there's a phone nearby, simply pick it up and start talking.

In all movies, the person riding the cab always reaches into their wallet without looking and pulls out the EXACT fare for the ride.

In scary movies, some girl ALWAYS has to trip while running away from the murderer despite how flat the ground may be.

Whenever two men are struggling, and a woman is present, the bad guy will drop a gun during the fight. The woman will then proceed to pick up the gun, but not walk over and threaten the villain who has her lover (the hero) in a choke hold.

During breakfast when everyone is rushing around to get ready. The dad regardless of profession, wears a suit and tie, carries his jacket and can't find his keys.

If a character is awakened by a radio alarm, it is perfectly timed to when the DJ is saying something like "Rise and shine! It's gonna be a beautiful day here in LA..."

Romance films almost always end up with the guy looking for the girl in the airport, seeing if she hadn't left for Chicago yet.

There's always a black guy helping out a white guy in ANY cop movie.

The Eiffel tower is perfectly visible from any window in Paris.

The school bus always honks twice for the kids inside to come outside and go to school.

All peasants in movies that take place in Mideval times, have perfect teeth.

All kids go to public schools.

No waiters allowed. Waitresses only.

When a family is watching TV together, what they are watching will be in black and white.

In a chase scene with cars, there will almost always be an unfinished bridge, which either the evil guy, and good guy will stop at, or the good guy will stop at, and the bad guy will fall off the end.The road with the unfinished bridge wion't be blocked off at the beggining, just at the end, which wouldn't really help.

The phone rings. The young girl who's home alone answers and its the homicidal maniac pretending to be a prank caller. They go through this scenerio about 5 times because the girl keeps hanging up. After the call that says "i'm gonna gut you like a fish" or something similar, the girl will hang up, shake it off and go back to eating her popcorn beside the unlocked porch door. When she hears a noise of someone inside the house, she decides to run up the stairs rather than out the front door where she can actually get away. Now all she can do is jump from an upstairs window to her death, or hide in the house hoping the killer will just forget about it after he can't find her.

If there is a fire, firemen will accidentally leave a woman or child in the building but will be unable to go back in a rescue them because the fire has taken over the building. Then the hero will appear in a tank top and jeans and be able to go into the building and save the person.

All young boys look like their hair has been cut by placing a bowl over their head and cutting around it.

All of the animals in the movie are put in danger by humans, then humans save them and turn them out into the wild. If the animals are a threat to humans then in that case they are killed.

Anytime a boy loser in a high school flick trys to get the most popular girl in school, either his best friend or other guy will get to her first.

In a war movie, there is almost always someone named for a city or state, but the character is not actually from the state or city they are named for.

In the morning when a character walks out to pick up the newspaper, there's always a neighbor watering the yard there to greet them.

In movies set in winter, if a house has christmas decorations, then the entire neighborhood has similar and consistant decorations on their houses.

In teenager movies, popular guys will make a bet or deal to go out with an unpopular girl. During the bet he will fall for her and then she finds out and they get in a big fight.

With teenager movies, the nerdy protagonist will always end up being prom queen/king.

When a character has a nightmare, as soon as they wake up and they sit up with their eyes wide open.

Whether or not they eventually win, the protagonist and often the antagonist will make it into the finals of any given competition.

Unless mountain climbing, the backcountry mountainous terrain characters end up in looks suspiciously like a well-groomed ski-slope.

Kids always have side conversations during school, which really aggravates the teacher.

Getting an answer in an interrogation requires repeating a question 3 times, etc.

Breaking down doors requires 3 hits.

School lunches look like slop.

When someone mentions the president, they never say his name.

People never have the sleepy face or bed head after they wake up in the morning. Only if they wake up in the middle of the night.

Enemies are very inaccurate when it comes to firing a gun.

Only twins are allowed to share bedrooms.

The villain will almost always kidnap the hero's woman in an atempt to destroy the hero's heart and spirit, but instead it gives him the will to go on and ends up being the villain's downfall, or the woman he kidnaps will end up defeating him.

Any kind of music in a club, at a dance, etc, always has a backbeat but no words.

Everyone's phone number is programmed into the same speed dial key.

Guns are always conveniently loaded with no more, and no less bullets than needed.

Even with three year olds running rampant, the mansion (of course) is always spotless.

Vegetables are always being chopped in the kitchen, but no one ever has the time to eat dinner.

Makeup in movies is mixed with a secret sticking solution, so it is incapable of becoming smudged or being rubbed off unless streaming mascara is needed for dramatic impact.

Black leather clothing is necessary to wield high-powered automatic weapons.

In action movies, there is always someone whose last words are, "Oh sh*t."

There is always one heavily muscled black guy, preferably with an accent of some sort, in action movies.

To be included in the geek clique, you must first have about 10 grand worth of orthodontia in your mouth.

At least one popular girl is blonde.

Even nerds don't have zits.

A huge wave of water or large ball of fire will always back up to give time for any important characters to run away. This usually happens when thecamera angle changes. Disasters that should take 5 seconds can easily take as long as necesary for characters to reach safety. These things usually never effect the hiding spot.

When two or more people are having a phone conversation, it is never terminated with a "goodbye", they always just hang up after getting to the point.

Whenever the hero or heroine is injured, it will always be a member of the opposite sex who treats their wounds, especially if the man is the wounded one.

If a man hits the heroine, she will do nothing for the present but will return near the end to give him a good whack. However, a heroine will never hit the hero back.

Teenage girls only own pretty, lacy, undergarments, and they always have matching sets of bras and panites.

Villans will always explain their plan, in its entirety, to the hero before leaving him in an easily escapable situation with an incredibly incompetentguard, or no guard at all.

When the distressed hero goes to drown his spirits at the bar, he'll say to the bartender, "Leave the bottle," and the bartender does, no questions asked.

In movies and television, Crime Scene Investigators don't just do the forensics, they question suspects and solve entire crimes FOR the DA.

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NOTE: Some of the cliches on our webiste were obtained from http://www.moviecliches.com.