I'll never forget the first time we met -- although, I'll keep trying.
You are a day late and a dollar short.
Your house is so dirty you have to wipe your feet before you go outside.
You are so old, your birth-certificate expired.
You are pretty as a picture and we'd love to hang you.
Shock me, say something intelligent.
I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving.
I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.
You are so stupid you got hit by a parked car.
Click here for more insults

Yo Momma Jokes
Yo momma's so dumb when she saw under 17 not admitted sign she went home and got 16 friends
Yo momma's so poor each night she goes to KFC to lick other folks fingers
Yo momma's so old one of her pets was on on Noahs Ark
Yo momma's so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone
Yo momma's so dumb she passed by YMCA and said hey look they spelled MACYs wrong
Yo momma's so poor people rob her house for practice
Yo momma's so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals
Yo momma's so poor she married young just to get the rice
Click here for more Yo Momma Jokes

Ways To Say Somebody Is Stupid
Driveway doesn't quite reach the garage/street.
Any slower and he'd be in reverse.
Easier to count the bricks left than the bricks missing.
Even a two button mouse gives him too many options.
Got a life, but wasn't sure what to do with it.
Has been seen tossing bread crumbs to helicopters.
Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
Her sewing machine's been out of thread for some time now.
Lives in the same world, but a different universe.
Click here for more ways to say somebody is stupid