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Herbert Spencer

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage".

Michel de Montaigne

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

Herbert Spencer

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage".

Agatha Christie

An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

Robert Creeley

My wife and I lived all alone, contention was our only bone. I fought with her, she fought with me, and things went on right merrily. But now I live here by myself with hardly a damn thing on the shelf, and pass my days with little cheer sin

Eric Hoffer

Marriage has for women many equivalents of joining a mass movement. It offers them a new purpose in life, a new future and a new identity (a new name). The boredom of spinsters and of women who can no longer find joy and fulfillment in marriage stems from

Henny Youngman

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

Sir Philip Sidney

My true-love hath my heart, and I have his, By just exchange, one for the other given: I hold his dear, and mine he cannot miss, There never was a better bargain driven.

Edith Wharton

I wonder, among all the tangles of this mortal coil, which one contains tighter knots to undo, and consequently suggests more tugging, and pain, and diversified elements of misery, than the marriage tie.

Henry Youngman

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

Thornton Wilder

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.

Oscar Wilde

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

Mae West

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.

Mae West

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

Peter De Vries

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.

Peter De Vries

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly.

Judith Viorst

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.

Paul Sweeney

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.

Barbra Streisand

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?

Gloria Steinem

Someone asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.

Herbert Spencer

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced mirage.

Socrates

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

George Bernard Shaw

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

Rita Rudner

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Rita Rudner

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Helen Rowland

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.

Helen Rowland

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

Helen Rowland

Before marriage, a man will lay down his life for you; after marriage he won't even lay down his newspaper.

Helen Rowland

When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.

Helen Rowland

It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.

Jean Rostand

Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you.

Prince Philip

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

Beverley Nichols

Marriage - a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.

Michel de Montaigne

Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance.

Marilyn Monroe

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.

H. L. Mencken

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.

H. L. Mencken

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.

H. L. Mencken

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.

H. L. Mencken

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

H. L. Mencken

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.

Mignon McLaughlin

If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping.

W. Somerset Maugham

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.

Groucho Marx

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

Stephen B. Leacock

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

Alan King

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

Alan King

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.

Alan King

Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

Alan King

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

Jean Kerr

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.

Joseph Joubert

Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a woman.

Helen Rowland

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Mark Twain

Friendship is the marriage of the soul, and this marriage is liable to divorce.

Helen Rowland

Before marriage, a man will lay down his life for you; after marriage he won't even lay down his newspaper.

Eric Hoffer

Marriage has for women many equivalents of joining a mass movement. It offers them a new purpose in life, a new future and a new identity (a new name). The boredom of spinsters and of women who can no longer find joy and fulfillment in marriage stems from

Andrew Schneider

Marriage. It's a hard term to define. Especially for me--I've ducked it like root canal. Still there's no denying the fact that marriage ranks right up there with birth and death as one of the three biggies in the human safari. It's the only one though that we'll celebrate with a conscious awareness. Very few of you remember your arrival and even fewer of you will attend your own funeral.

Robert Anderson

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.

Benjamin Franklin

Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.

Andrew Schneider

Marriage is the union of disparate elements. Male and female. Yin and yang. Proton and electron. What are we talking about here Nothing less than the very tension that binds the universe. You see, when we look at marriage, people, we're are looking at creation itself. I am the sky, says the Hindu bridegroom to the bride. You are the earth. We are sky and earth united.... You are my husband. You are my wife. My feet shall run because of you. My feet shall dance because of you. My heart shall beat because of you. My eyes see because of you. My mind thinks because of you and I shall love because of you.

Marilyn Monroe

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.

B. A. Billingsly

Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.

George Jessel

Marriage is a mistake every man should make.

Honore' de Balzac

One should believe in marriage as in the immortality of the soul.

Richard Pryor

I believe in the institution of marriage and I intend to keep trying until I get it right.

Gilbert Keith Chesterton

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

Hoshang N. Akhtar

Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.

Joe Moore

Marriage love, honor, and negotiate.

Joe Murray

Marriage should be a duet -- when one sings, the other claps.

Herbert Spencer

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced mirage.

Leon Botstein

Marriage is the wastepaper basket of the emotions.

Clint Eastwood

There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.

Michel de Montaigne

Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance.

St. Jerome

Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night.

Herbert Spencer

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage".

Henry Adams

Accident counts for much in companionship, as in marriage.

SHAKS.: _1 Henry VI.,_ Act v., Sc. 5.

Marriage is a matter of more worth Than to be dealt in by attorneyship.

Juan Antonio Samaranch

Olympism is the marriage of sport and culture.

Billy Connolly

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

Charles Caleb Colton

Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner.

Alan King

Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

Groucho Marx

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

Ambrose Bierce

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Alan King

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

Estee Lauder

On marriage Look for a sweet person. Forget rich.

Thornton Wilder

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.

Kenneth Hartley Blanchard

Marriage is like signing a 356-page contract without knowing what's in it.

Rodney Dangerfield

My marriage is on the rocks again. Yeah..my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

Rodney Dangerfield

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend

Honore' de Balzac

Marriage must incessantly contend with a monster that devours everything familiarity.

Michel de Montaigne

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

Friedrich Nietzsche

When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.

Wayne's World

Wayne Garth, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.

George Eliot

Little children are still the symbol of the eternal marriage between love and duty.

Benjamin Franklin

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.

Rita Rudner

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Vicki Baum

Marriage always demands the finest arts of insincerity possible between two human beings.

Kathy Mohnke

Marriage is like vitamins we supplement each other's minimum daily requirements.

Ogden Nash

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it Whenever you're right, shut up.

Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

When marrying, ask yourself this question Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age Everything else in marriage is transitory.

Isadora Duncan

Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.

Peter De Vries

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.

Being able to support oneself allows one to choose a marriage out of love and not just economic dependence. It also allows one to risk that marriage.

Never say that marriage has more of joy than pain.

Marriage? Sorry, I can't mate in captivity.

It should be a very happy marriage --- they are both so much in love with him.

Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.

Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.

Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener.

Marriage is a triumph of habit over hate.

If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.

I used to believe that marriage would diminish me, reduce my options. That you had to be someone less to live with someone else when, of course, you have to be someone more.

Even holligans marry, though they know that marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever.

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

The proper basis for marriage is a mutual misunderstanding.

Love is an obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.

Love in marriage should be the accomplishment of a beautiful dream, and not, as it too often is, the end.

It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you have to buy two separate books.

My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked.

Marriage: a long conversation chequered by disputes.

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.

Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.

Marriage is like paying an endless visit in your worst clothes.

The only charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception necessary for both parties.

Politics doesn???t make strange bedfellows--marriage does.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.

A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.

The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.

The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.

Intimacy is what makes a marriage, not a ceremony, not a piece of paper from the state.

A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.

Marriage: a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.

Marriage is the golden ring in a chain, whose beginning is a glance and whose ending is eternity.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

Like dear St. Francis of Assisi I am wedded to Poverty: but in my case the marriage is not a success.

Marriage: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal

Marriage is based on the theory that when man discovers a brand of beer exactly to his taste he should at once throw up his job and go work in the brewery.

That is what marriage really means: helping one another to reach the full status of being persons, responsible and autonomous beings who do not run away from life.

There is no observation more frequently made by such as employ themselves in surveying the conduct of mankind, than that marriage, though the dictate of nature, and the institution of Providence, is yet very often the cause of misery, and that those who e

You know, my Friends, with what a brave Carouse I made a Second Marriage in my house; Divorced old barren Reason from my Bed, And took the Daughter of the Vine to Spouse. For Is and Is-not though with Rule and Line And Up-and-down

There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.

"Ingredient for a happy marriage: Budget the luxuries *first*!"- L. Long

I pay very little regard...to what any young person says on the subject of marriage. If they profess a disinclination for it, I only set it down that they have not yet seen the right person.

"Our marriage was built on mutual trust and a lot of acting ability."

"Ending a marriage, it's a quiet thing." Adel Renn

A good marriage winds up as a meeting of minds, which had better be pretty good to start with.

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