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Search Results:
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George Deukmejian
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The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
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John Updike
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Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.
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Unknown
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It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.
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Al Boliska
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Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?
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Jimmy DeMaret
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Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.
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Rogers Hornsby
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I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.
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Gerald R. Ford
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I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.
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Harry Vardon
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Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
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Ben Hogan
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I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.
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Roger Kahn
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Tennis and golf are best played, not watched.
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Billy Graham
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The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
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Kathryn Schaefer Plaum
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Live.....Laugh.....GOLF
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William Wordsworth
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Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
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Arnold Daly
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Golf is like a love affair if you don't take it seriously, it's no fun. If you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart.
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Bob Hope
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If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
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Tiger Woods
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I get to play golf for a living. What more can you ask for - getting paid for doing what you love.
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Bob Hope
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If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
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Jack Nicklaus
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He has the finest, fundamentally sound golf swing I've ever seen.
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Paul Harvey
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Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five.
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Hank Aaron
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It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
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Charles Rosin
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Golf isn't a game, it's a choice that one makes with one's life.
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Paul Harvey
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Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five.
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Jim Bishop
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Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
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Jean Giraudoux
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A golf course is the epitome of all that is transitory in the universe, a space not to dwell in, but to get over as quickly as possible.
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Jack Lemmon
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If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
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Robert Lynd
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It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.
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Bobby Jones
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It is nothing new or original to say that golf is played one stroke at a time. But it took me many years to realize it.
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Mark Twain
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It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
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Sam Snead
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If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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Do you know what happens when you slice a golf ball in half Someone gets mad at you. I found this out the hard way.
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Buddy Marucci
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Tiger is the best athlete that this level of golf has seen. He's lean, he's strong, his swing is marvelous.
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Will Rogers
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I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
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Ben Hogan
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Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.
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Woodrow Wilson
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Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose.
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Jerry Seinfeld
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The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
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T. S. Eliot
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And the wind shall say Here were decent godless people. Their only monument the asphalt road. And a thousand lost golf balls.
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Rick Reilly
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Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around.
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Dave Barry
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Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
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Jack Nicklaus
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There isn't a flaw in his golf or his makeup. He will win more majors than Arnold Palmer and me combined. Somebody is going to dust my records. It might as well be Tiger, because he's such a great kid.
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Franklin P. Adams
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Years ago we discovered the exact point the dead center of middle age. It occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.
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Ernest Hemingway
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The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.
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Paul Harvey
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Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five.
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Shaquille O'Neal
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If you got the game, you got the game. That's why Tiger Woods is out there playing golf with Greg Norman.
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Louise Suggs
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Golf is very much like a love affair, if you don't take it seriously, it's no fun, if you do, it breaks your heart. Don't break your heart, but flirt with the possibility.
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Ben Hogan
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Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club, don't you?
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Don Carter
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One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball.
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Happy Gilmore
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Happy Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass.
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Hal
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Does Grandpa love to baby-sit his grandchildren Are you kidding By day he is too busy taking hormone shots at the doctor's or chip shots on the golf course. At night he and Grandma are too busy doing the cha-cha.
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Jack Benny
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Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
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There's Something About Mary
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Mary I want a guy who can play 36 holes of golf, and still have enough energy to take Warren and me to a baseball game, and eat sausages, and beer, not lite beer, but beer. That's my ad, print it up.
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They say golf is not a contact sport. Not the way we play it.
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Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.
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Golf is a good walk, ruined.
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Golf is a good walk spoiled.
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I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
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The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.
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Dan Quayle Virus: Forces your computer to run golf games from 10 AM t
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The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
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If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be ineligible for any office of trust in the United States.
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Golf is a game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood.
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It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.
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Golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort.
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The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.
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Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into a even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill- designed for the purpose.
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"Bother," said Pooh, as his golf ball struck Eeyore in the temple.
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"Bother", said Pooh, as his golf ball struck Ee-Yore in the temple.
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"The Air Force escorts Sununu to a golf game." -- Crow T. Robot
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"You call that a swing? I'd hate to see your golf game" - Peter Caine
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"There's no BODY-CHECKING in golf!!!"-Charlie Brown, to Lucy.
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"Where do you hide a 300' tall golf ball?" - Blindside
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"I'm sure you play a helluva game of golf." George C. Scott
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"She's a golf teacher. I've struck gold!" (Kramer)
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"You ever watch golf on TV? It's like watching flies f*ck." - Carlin
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"Ben Hogan recovered his golf ball," said Tom profoundly.
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"I have all the erasers to all the miniture golf pencils in the world."
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"This voice told me to be a... golf pro..." -- Johnny Fever
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"Golf is a good walk spoiled." - Twain
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"There is no body-checking in golf!" - Charlie Brown
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"I own the erasers for all the miniature golf pencils."
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"I'm no good at golf; I'll hit another bad shot," Tom forewarned.
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"You did it on the golf course and you weren't a member?" -- Rimmer
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"Let's play golf", said Tom coarsely.
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"One golf ball and I'm up all night." -- BJ
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"What's it like there? What do you do? Any good golf courses?"--C. J.
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"Well, we could play golf, but isn't this more fun?"
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