How Dogs and Man are the Same
Both take up too much space on the bed
Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning
Both are threatened by their own kind
Both mark their territory
Both are bad at asking you questions
Neither tells you what is bothering them
The smaller ones tend to be more nervous
Neither does dishes
Neither of them notice when you get your hair done
Both like dominance games
Both are suspicious of the postman
Neither know how to talk on the phone
Neither understands what you see in cats
How Dogs are Better Than Man
Dogs do not have a problem expressing affection in public
Dogs miss you when you are gone
Dogs feel guilty when they have done something wrong
Dogs don't criticize your friends
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out
Dogs don't play games with you - except fetch (and they never laugh at the way you throw)
Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence
You can train a dog
Dogs are easy to buy for
You are never suspicious of a dog's dreams
Dogs understand what NO means
Dogs understand if some of their friends can't come inside
Middle aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner
Dogs admit it when they're lost
Dogs are color blind
Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more money than they do
Dogs mean it when they kiss you
Where Men are Better Than Dogs
Men only have two feet that track in mud
Men can buy you presents
Men don't have to play with every man they see when you take them around the block
Men are a little bit more subtle
Men don't hike their leg to pee on every post they pass
Men don't eat turds on the sly
Dogs have dog breath all the time
Men can do math
Men don't shed as much, and if they do, they hide it |
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