* You have taken your kids trick or treating in a blizzard.
* You live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is one meter above the ground!
* You only have four spices, salt...pepper...ketchup...and Tabasco.
* The dang mosquitoes have landing lights.
* Kids Halloween costumes fit over snowsuits.
* Driving is better in winter because the snow covers the potholes up.
* Everyone has hundreds of recipes for moose meat.
* You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
* At least twice a year the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
* Sexy lingerie is fleece socks and flannel nightie, but with only eight buttons.
* Snow blower gets stuck on the roof again.
* The most effective bug repellant in Alaska that works is a shotgun.
* The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.
* You find -60c a tad chilly.
* The mayor greets you on the street by your first name.
* You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
* You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl your deck.
* Moose season is a state holiday!
* The municipality buys a zamboni before a bus.
* Shoveling the driveway constitutes great upper body workout.
* You know the four seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
* You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewels, and your bunny boots.
* The major parish fundraiser isn't bingo, it's sausage making.
* Two speed limits in Alaska, the get outta my way limit, and taking cover limit. |
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