POLITICIAN: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
MARRIAGE: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master's.
BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
YAWN: Also, the only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
ETC: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
COMMITTEE: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but do not read.
WORRY: Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their mistakes.
TEARS: The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.
ATOM BOMB: An invention to end all inventions.
PHILOSOPHER: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
OPTIMIST: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
PESSIMIST: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .
MISER: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
FATHER: A banker provided by nature.
CRIMINAL: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
RUMOR: News that travels at the speed of sound.
DICTIONARY: The only place where divorce comes before marriage.
COLLEGE: A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.
ECSTASY: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.
HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MYTH: A female moth.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines. |
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