Did you hear about the stupid person who...
* Waited on the street corner with a piece of bread to get some traffic jam.
* Saluted the refrigerator because it was a General Electric.
* Went to the lumber yard to see the Board of Education.
* Ate some pennies and then asked if people saw any change in him.
* Cut off his hands so he could play the piano by ear.
* Put birdseed in his shoes to feed his pigeon toes.
* Knocked on the lamp post because he saw a light upstairs and knew someone was home.
* Brought a ladder to the party because the drinks were on the house.
* Put his chin on the curb to get his mind out of the gutter.
* Jumped from a skyscraper to show he had guts.
* Put a chair in the coffin for rigor mortis to set in.
* Took his pregnant wife to the grocery store because he heard they had free delivery.
* Filled the gym with water because he heard he was going in as a sub.
* Was so modest he went into the closet to change his mind.
* Thought he was upside down because his nose ran and his feet smelled.
* Put his best friend through the meat grinder so he could scrape up a new acquaintance.
* Took the street car home and his mother made him take it back.
* Backed out of the street car because he heard that as soon as he got up someone would take his seat.
* Took his nose apart to see what made it run.
* Pulled out his teeth so he would have more gum to chew.
A Stupid Person is...
* A few clowns short of a circus...
* A few fries short of a Happy Meal...
* An experiment in artificial stupidity...
* A few beers short of a six pack...
* Dumber than a box of hair...
* A few peas short of a casserole....
* Doesn't have all his Cornflakes in one box...
* The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead...
* One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl...
* One taco short of a combo plate...
* A few feathers short of a whole duck...
* All foam, no beer...
* The cheese slid off his cracker...
* Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel...
* Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt...
* Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear...
* Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel...
* He fell out of the Stupid Tree and hit every branch on the way down...
* An intellect rivaled only by garden tools...
* As smart as bait...
* Chimney's clogged...
* Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash...
* Doesn't know much but, leads the league in nostril hair...
* Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor...
* Forgot to pay his brain bill...
* Her sewing machine's out of thread...
* His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels...
* His belt doesn't go through all the loops...
* If he had another brain, it would be lonely...
* Missing a few buttons on his remote control...
* No grain in the silo...
* Proof that evolution can go in reverse...
* Receiver is off the hook...
* Several nuts short of a full pouch...
* Sky light leaks a little...
* Slinky's kinked...
* Too much yardage between the goal posts...
* Not the sharpest knife in the drawer...
* Half a bubble off plumb...
* A few sandwiches short of a picnic ... |
|
