accept this special invitation - pay money
bear - What your trade account and wallet will be when you take a flyer on that hot stock tip your secretary gave you.
bond - What you had with your spouse until you pawned his/her golf clubs to invest in Amazon.com.
brokee - Someone who buys stocks on the advice of a broker.
broker - The person you trust to help you make major financial decisions. Please note the first five letters of this word spell broke.
build relationships - get money from
bull - What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked during the last quarter.
commission - The only reliable way to wake money on the stock market, which is why your broker charges you one.
convenience fee - interest charge
invest - gamble
margin - Where you scribble the latest quotes when you're supposed to be listening to your manager's presentation.
misdeeds - crimes
multilevel business partners - Suckers
short position - A type of trade where, in theory, a person sells stocks he doesn't actually own. Since this also only ever works in theory, a short position is what a person usually ends up being in (i.e., "The rent, sir? Hahaha, well, I'm a little short this month.").
stock - A magical piece of paper that is worth $33.75 until the moment you buy it. It will then be worth $8.50.
stock-market correction - crash
yak - What you do into a pail when you discover your stocks have plunged and your broker is making a margin call. |
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