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Funny Business Terms |
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Coordinator - me guy who has a desk between two expeditors. Copy to - Here's a share of the headache. Essentially complete: It's half done. Expedite - To confound confusion with commotion For your approval, please - Put your neck on the chopping board for me please. For your immediate action - Do it NOW! Or we'll all get into trouble. For your information, please (FYI) - We don't know what to do with this, so please keep it. For your necessary action - It's your headache now. Give Us the Benefit of Your Present Thinking - We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already decided to do. Give us your interpretation -- Your warped opinion will be pitted against your adversary's good sense. Informed Source - The guy who told the guy you just met. It is in process - So wrapped up in red tape that the situation is almost hopeless. Let's Get Together on This - I'm assuming you're as confused as I am. Not well defined at this time: Nobody's even thought about it. Not well understood: Now that we've thought about it, we don't want to think about it anymore. Note and Initial - Let's spread the responsibility for this. Noted and returned - We don't know what to do with this, so please keep it little while. Please discuss - I don't know what the hell this is, so please brief me. Please note and initial -- Let's spread the responsibility for this. Please reply soon - Please be efficient. It makes me look inefficient. Potential show stopper - The team has updated their resumes. Regards - Thanks for reading all the bullshit. Reliable Source - The guy you just met. Re-orientation - Getting used to working again. Requires further analysis and management attention: Totally out of control! Results are being quantified: We're massaging the numbers so they will agree with our conclusions. Results are promising: Turned power on and no smoke detected -- this time... Review and comment - Do the dirty work so that I can forward it. Risk is high, but within acceptable ranges of risk: 100:1 odds, or with 10 times over budget using 10 times the people we said we'd employ. See Me, or Let's Discuss - Come down to my office, I'm lonesome. Serious but not insurmountable problems: It'll take a miracle. Task force to review: Seven people who are incompetent at their regular jobs have been loaned to the project To Activate - To make carbons and add more names to the memo. To Give Someone the Picture - A long, confused and inaccurate statement to a newcomer. To Inplement a Program - Hire more people and expand the office. To Negotiate - To seek a meeting of minds without knocking together of heads. Under Active Consideration - We're looking in the files for it. Under Consideration - Never heard of it. Unimpeachable Source - The guy who started the rumor originally. We are aware of it -- We had hoped that the fool who started it would have forgotten about it by this time. We are investigating/processing your request with the relevant authorities - They are causing the delay, not us. We are making a survey -- We need more time to think of an answer. We predict: We hope to God! We will look into it - By the time the wheel makes a full turn, we assume you will have forgotten about it too. Will advise you in due course -- If we figure it out, we'll let you know. Your letter is receiving our attention - We are still trying to figure out what you want. >>> back to homepage |
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