Celeb Clock

What it is

Celeb Clock tells you what famous people are doing right now. It takes published daily routines of eighteen well known figures, a rapper, a TV presenter, a pope, a footballer, a Victorian novelist and a famous physicist among them, lines them up against a live clock, and reports what each of them is up to at this very minute, from the mundane to the suspiciously luxurious.

How to play

Press the button on the red velvet curtain and the list appears under a live clock set to your local time. Read down it. Then grab the slider beneath the clock and drag it to any time of day to see who is asleep at three in the morning and who is still busy at nine at night. Come back at a different hour and the list has quietly rearranged itself, and the people you would least expect to be awake are the ones still up.

What makes it different

The routines are sourced from articles and books, with times estimated where they had to be, and the page says so at the bottom. So it is not made up, it is just deeply unnecessary, which is a much better kind of joke. Putting the living and the long dead on the same clock is the touch that makes it.

Why it is on Bored

Almost real is for fake products played straight, and this is a celebrity schedule board that a hotel lobby might actually install. It is funniest at the odd hours.

Tips

• Drag the time slider, the middle of the night is the best part
• Read the footnote about sources, it is more honest than most tabloids and explains the estimates
• Check it at your own bedtime and feel either better or worse about your routine
• Show it to someone at an odd hour

FAQ